· Ann McDonald · Christmas · 4 min read
Looking After Everyone at Christmas
Allergies, intolerances, vegetarians, children and anyone who would rather not drink. How to ask the right questions early, and plan a Christmas table where nobody has to make a fuss.
Ask about dietary requirements before you finalise the menu, not after.
It is a much easier conversation in November than it is on Christmas morning, and it changes what you cook rather than what you apologise for.
Nobody should have to sit at your table hoping there is something they can eat.
Ask properly, and ask early
A preference, an intolerance and a food allergy are three different things, and they need three different responses. Let the guest tell you which one you are dealing with rather than guessing.
Try: “Before I plan the menu, is there anything you can’t eat, or anything that would make the day easier for you? Just let me know how careful I need to be.”
That last sentence matters. It gives someone with a serious allergy permission to say “very”, without feeling they are being difficult.
Write it down
Keep one note with every dietary requirement, who it belongs to, and what you have decided to do about it. On the day you will not remember which salad has the pine nuts in it.
Give people a proper meal, not the leftovers
A vegetarian guest needs a satisfying main course, not the vegetables that are left once the meat has been taken away. The same is true for anyone avoiding gluten, dairy or seafood.
Where you can, choose sides that more people can share. A green salad with the dressing on the side, potatoes cooked in oil rather than butter, or a grain salad without the feta stirred through can quietly feed several people at once and save you cooking three separate things.
Our green bean and fennel salad with roasted tomatoes and freeze-ahead crispy roast potatoes both work hard this way.
Check the things you would not think to check
Allergens hide in the ingredients you buy rather than the ones you cook.
- Stocks and gravy powders often contain gluten, dairy or celery
- Bought pastry and puff pastry usually contain butter or milk solids
- Worcestershire sauce contains anchovies
- Many curry pastes contain shrimp paste
- Marzipan, praline and some biscuits contain nuts
- Glacé fruit and dried fruit mixes are sometimes dusted with flour
Keep the packaging until after the meal. If a guest wants to check something themselves, the label answers the question far better than your memory does.
Cross-contact is not the same as an ingredient
For a serious allergy, taking the garnish off a plate does not make the dish safe. The allergen has already been in contact with the food.
Use clean boards, knives and serving spoons for the dish that needs to be safe, and prepare it before the food it needs to avoid rather than after. Give it its own serving utensil on the table so a well-meaning guest does not move the walnut salad spoon into it.
Agree the arrangements with the guest rather than deciding for them. ASCIA has clear, practical guidance on avoidance, cleaning and separate equipment, and it is worth ten minutes of your time: ASCIA dietary avoidance advice.
If you are not sure, say so
If you cannot confidently promise a dish is safe, tell the guest. Most people would far rather bring their own portion than be handed something you are only fairly sure about. Honesty is kinder than confidence here.
Guest contributions need the same questions
When someone brings a dish, it becomes part of your menu, so it needs the same information as your own cooking.
Ask what is in it, how it should be stored and whether it needs finishing. If someone at the table has an allergy, ask the person who made it directly rather than assuming. And if you cannot establish that a contribution is safe for a particular guest, quietly serve them something you made instead.
Our guide to asking guests what to bring has the wording for that conversation.
Drinks
Offer water and one genuinely appealing alcohol-free option, and put them somewhere people can help themselves. Nobody should have to explain why they are not drinking.
Keep alcoholic and alcohol-free drinks clearly apart, especially punches and jugs where you cannot tell by looking. And do not assume alcohol has cooked out of a trifle or a sauce, because a good deal of it usually has not.
Children, and anyone who needs a quieter minute
Ask parents about timing and familiar food. A child who eats at five o’clock will not last until a two o’clock lunch that runs late, and a plain plate put aside early saves a great deal of upset.
Have somewhere away from the kitchen where a small person can do something quiet. It is just as useful for an adult who needs ten minutes out of a loud room.
Comfort usually comes from being asked, not from having a fuss made.
Check in gently, once, and then let people be.
